Now...

It has been so long since I have blogged that I couldn't remember how I used to do it. Life has been so crazy in the last 6 months that I haven't had time to be normal. On January 3, little Benjamin, our second grandson, was born. We really thought that he would come in 2007 but he waited and made it into the new year. Mickey and I stayed with Kelly and Aaron and helped little Asher, who was only 15 months himself, adjust to this new life in their house. It was a very sweet time. Soon after, Lacey came home from her two year stay overseas. We began planning the wedding as soon as she came home. We invited Brandon, our friend, to come and live in our home and get on his feet...so our house was full. Chase began staying in Batesville almost every night and Mark allowed him to live with him for the semester. Perspectives started and so we were all involved with that...every Tuesday night. Kelly and the boys came and stayed with us for a week while Aaron went to Mexico...that was fun! As we were getting into "shower" time for the wedding, we were made aware that God was moving Mark and began working through the process with him. Suddenly, we were told about the plan to hire Chase and Lacey to work with our youth for the summer, knowing that Mark was leaving and God had provided them to First Baptist. Then we were looking for a house, having showers, planning the wedding, praying with Mark, mourning his leaving, delighting in Lacey and Chase staying, going to speaking engagements with Lacey, and looking forward to Chase's graduation from college, while agonizing over Brandon's bulging disk and inability to work...or do much of anything for that matter. Mickey was on so many committees and had so many leadership jobs at church that it seemed he always had a meeting if he wasn't working (trying to PAY for the wedding!) During all of this, my doctor put me on insulin and I began working through the emotions of having to give myself a shot in the belly for the rest of my life. I never really found any peace in the midst of the storm. It seemed that even though much of the related work was fun and exciting...there was nothing very relaxing or restful. So now...Ozlem and Sebastian have come and gone...Christina, too and all the family (all four sides!) and the house is quiet. It is back to Mom and Dad downstairs...and Curt's daily visits and Mickey and me upstairs in our "private haven" and Brandon on the couch...watching TV. Mark is gone and we miss him. Soon he will be gone for good...not from our lives but from our daily lives...and we are sad but we know it is right. We have decisions to make...what will we continue to do, what will we pursue with passion, what will we put away? I'm not ready to journey forward just yet...I need to sit and listen and reflect and think and talk to God. Now? We shall see...