Feliz Cumpleaños, Mariana

My young friend, Mariana, had her 6th Birthday Party today.  I was invited.  I purchased a small gift and wrapped it for her.  I was excited about attending my first ever Mexican birthday celebration!  I had heard of the great parties that Hispanic people were known for giving - a lot of food, dancing, games, family and friends.  I was not disappointed!

Veronica had told me that 2:30 on Saturday was the time it would begin.  I should have realized that 2:30 really meant 4:30...and that the party would last all night!  Being the American that I am, I intended to be on time and was a little fretful that I was running late.  When I arrived at their home, I counted four cars parked in the yard and behind the house.  Two of them were Mario and Veronica's.  I should have caught on quickly, but just thought maybe they were planning a small party.

I knocked on the door and Veronica answered, looking very beautiful. She was definitely dressed very stylishly in tights, a sweater and boots.  Her makeup was perfect and she had pulled her black shiny hair up into a pony tail which she could still sit upon.  She smiled and welcomed me and called Mariana to do the same.  Mariana didn't hesitate to take the small package that I was carrying and greeted me, as well.  She was wearing a long satiny white party dress with a red dress coat over it.  Her dark eyes were snapping with excitement.

Veronica quickly began introducing me to the people in the room.  They were very gracious as they shook my hand and greeted me warmly.  So far, Veronica's sister and her children and Mario were there.  Mario was taking pictures of Mariana and her cake and her cousins.  Just as quickly as she had appeared, Mariana disappeared, running off to play with her young girl cousin.  Her older cousin stayed and visited with me for a while.  He spoke English very well.  He was pleasant to chat with and we became friends for the day, quickly.  I felt good because I knew if I couldn't communicate with anyone else, I could always talk to him.

Veronica's sister talked to me some also.  We made small talk about jobs, children, and Veronica.  Finally another guest arrived.  It was Mario's aunt and her young son from out of town.  Her use of English was similar to that of Veronica's.  I could tell she understood much more than she could communicate.  It wasn't long until Veronica came back into the small living room and motioned for me to come with her and I understood her to say, "...the other building".  This was a relatively small comfortable home on a small lot in town and I could not fathom where we might be going.  We went through the kitchen and out the back door and low and behold, there was, indeed, another building.  Mario and a couple of men were sitting outside the building and in between the house and the building there were banquet tables and chairs set up.  They were decorated with purple and white table clothes and purple and pink balloons.  We went into the other building, which I had believed to be a storage building, to find it decorated with streamers and balloons, tables and chairs with purple table clothes, and music playing from a stereo set.  This was no storage building at all.  It was sheet rocked, painted a lovely green with windows, a front and back door, and had electricity.  It was a party building!  It was big enough for seating for about 30 people.

I kept thinking, poor Veronica and Mariana!  They have put all of this work into this party and no one is showing up.  Mario's aunt and I sat down in the room and with my inadequate Spanish-speaking ability and her broken English tried to have some conversation.  I found I was so much more comfortable with the children, because they all knew English.  I wanted to at least try to talk to some of the adults though.  Finally a few more people began to arrive.  I hadn't seen Veronica is quite some time but suddenly she appeared with two bowls of what I would have called soup.  I was told it was beans - beans with bacon and chorizo - and I was grateful to have it.  It was getting colder outside and the conversation was lagging.  It was also very warm and tasty!  I asked if Veronica made it and she said, "No!".  I teased her remembering that she claims she can't cook.

More and more people began to arrive and soon I realized that it was after 4:00 pm.  The time had really gone by quickly.  Veronica came back into the party building and invited me and the aunt to get in line for the tacos.  We went outside and it was as though a make-shift outdoor galley had appeared out of thin air.  "The Taco Lady" was working over an outdoor grill with chopped beef, onions and jalepenos sizzling and tortillas warming and smelling heavenly.  There was a spit with pork and pineapple cooking nearby.  There was a bar with what Southerner's call "fixin's" including cilantro, pico, limes, and different sauces.  As we went through the line, the Taco Lady loaded our plates with four tortillas piled high with the beef and grilled onions.  I asked for a small jalepeno.  I followed the aunt and added pico, cilantro and lime to my plate.

We made our way back to the party building and found our seats still empty, although more and more people were arriving.  Veronica came out with a plate of foil wrapped food explaining to me that she had ordered me two tamales.  Seeing that I would not be able to hold them, she said she would send them home with me.  I felt that it was her goal to take care of me and make sure I had a good time.  She did not dissapoint.  She asked me what the time was on my phone and was surprised when I told her near 4:30.  She told me that the pinatas would be next and then the cake.  I knew that they were important parts of the party that she didn't want me to miss.  And more people were arriving.

There were three piñatas.  The men found a long rope and threw it over a large limb of the tree in the yard.  They hooked up the first piñata - a Dora doll.  By that time there were many people there.  I counted loosely and came up with 60 and more arriving.  The children gathered around.  Mariana had the stick and Mario had the end of the rope.  Before anyone could whack at the piñata there had to be a picture of Mariana and her young cousins.  Mariana got the first try.  The older boys began a sing-song rhyme that they continued as the one with the stick would swing at the piñata hoping to burst it open for the candy surprises inside.  Veronica's sister was the adult in charge.  She would laugh and sing and pick someone new to try and keep everyone in line as they should be.  She was having as much fun as the children.  Finally, one of the older boys knocked poor Dora's leg off and the candy went flying - and the children scrambled.  It was time for the second one.  This one was filled with plastic balls and everyone waited anxiously to catch one as they trickled out one by one.  The last piñata was a princess crown and everyone was getting ready for the cake which was to be cut next.  Still people were arriving with gifts in hand and by now it was getting dark.  This one broke off of the rope and fell to the ground.  Mario ripped it apart and tossed the candy randomly at the children.

It was time to cut the cake.  Everyone who could fit squeezed into the party building.  Mario made his way to the stereo and put on music that must have been special for the birthday girl.  She stood shyly by her cake as people made her picture and tucked her head with an embarrassed smile.  She tried hard to smile for the pictures and was so proud when the candle with a 6 on it was produced for her to blow out.  She bent forward to take the first bite out of the cake and her cousin quickly shoved her face into it.  I feel like that is a traditional birthday trick that everyone expects.  Everyone laughed and clapped and they made pictures of her.  Mariana was given the knife and made the first cut in the cake. Veronica carefully cut out the piece where her face had been and put it away.  A large pot of something that looked like a fruit salad was being served on the side as Veronica and her sister passed out cake to their guests.  I didn't have to wait long because Veronica sought me out with one of the first pieces.  It was a delicious Mexican milk cake.  It wasn't quite as sweet as others I have had, but it was delicious.  The "fruit salad" side turned out to be jello cut into small squares in a milky sauce.  It was also very good.

I waited until Veronica was finished serving her guests, for the most part - there were a lot of people there, and told her that at 5:30 it was time for me to leave.  I could tell this party was just getting started!  She graciously excused me and I left the party building.  She remembered that she had tamales inside for me and her sister went to get them for me.  As I went outside, I could see people sitting around a cosy fire and others still at the tables wrapped in coats to keep warm.  This party was just getting started, indeed. With my bag of Mexican party treats and special tamales in hand, as I got into my car I noticed more people arriving

What a wonderful experience! I love that we are blessed with different cultures and that they have come to the United States.  I can't wait until Mariana's 7th birthday and this time I will know to arrive a little late and plan to stay later!

A White American Woman and a Mexican Girl

Veronica has been in my life for about five years now.  We met at an ESL class at a local church.  She was looking for some private tutoring and God placed me in the right place at the right time.  She had a goal of Citizenship in mind.  She knew how to say, "How are you?" and answer, "I am fine."  She could give her own name and address, but in very broken English.  Citizenship was very important to her.  She was in the US on a green card and it would expire very soon.  She had a little girl, Mariana, who had been born in the US and who was, herself, a US citizen by virtue of her birth.  Veronica had a job and could take care of herself and Mariana with the help of Mariana's father.

We began working together.  I thought that we would first need to work on English.  The test is in English and it covers a lot of government and history.  It was not long until she shared with me that her first attempt at Citizenship would be in a few months - not nearly enough time for her to learn English first.  It became clear that she planned to literally memorize the questions and answers without actually knowing their meaning.  She worked very hard.  Finally the day came for her to go to Memphis for her test.  Sadly, she did not pass.  For each paid fee, aliens are allowed three tries to pass and the fee is very pricey.  We worked very hard once more and she was given a new date for her then third try.  I was so nervous for her.  Mickey and I decided to take her to Memphis for the test.  It would be interesting to see the building and how the process worked.  She came in from the testing center and I could tell she was disappointed.  She had missed Citizenship by ONE word in her writing skills. I thought that she might give up.  But no.  Veronica was determined and we began working hard again.  She would have to pay the testing fee again and I urged her to wait until she learned English better.  She worked hard, still mostly memorizing the book.  I would explain the best I could the question and the answer.  I would drill her over and over.  Finally the day came for her to test once again.  What unspeakable joy filled my heart as she told me she passed!  It was my privilege to attend her naturalization ceremony and be there when she was sworn in as a United States citizen.

I wasn't sure she would want to continue learning English when she achieved this goal, but was pleasantly surprised when she didn't skip a beat.  She wanted to learn how to communicate with Mariana's teachers, with her co-workers and bosses, with her doctors, and other English speakers in her new country.  She and Mario married and they became a new immigrant family.  Mario obtained a green card and also pursued learning English with the plan of also achieving Citizenship.  They purchased a house and settled in Batesville, both working hard for the American dream.

Each year Veronica has invited me to celebrate Mariana's birthday by coming to her party.  This year I accepted, and I am so glad I did.  It meant a lot to Veronica to have me there.  We have gone through quite a few things together.  She was my student when Lacey moved overseas.  She was my student when three of my grandchildren were born.  She was my student when my dad died.  I was her teacher when she miscarried, twice.  I was her teacher when she went to have an ultrasound on the baby she is now carrying.  We decided together that we would contact the Ozark Foothills Literacy Project and use their agency to continue our student/teacher relationship.  It was a great decision and we are grateful for the training, support and curriculum that we receive through them.  We have become much more than student/teacher.  We are friends who love one another.  I am so thankful that God placed us in the right place and at the right time to share this life together.

Happy Birthday, Friend (Shout Out to Mark McLendon)

This post is really a shout out to my very dear friend, Mark McLendon, whose day of birth is today.  It may seem odd that one of my very best friends is a single ?? year old man, but God has blessed us with this unusual friendship.  Although we aren't exactly alike, we share so many commonalities that we can't help ourselves - we just have to be friends!

It all began when I sat on a church "search committee" for a youth minister's position.  It was a great experience and ultimately, we agreed to extend the offer of a position with our church to Mark.  The first day we met, I must admit, he impressed me.  He turned on his winning smile and extended his hand, calling each of us by name, though we had only met on the phone.  He was wearing a green and white checked Tommy Hilfiger button up and jeans.  Immediately I was drawn to that little emblem on his pocket.  I knew he was a city boy and that he was pushing the upper limits in age for youth ministry and that he was single.  I must admit that I was watching for red flags.  I wasn't sure that he understood the demographic of students that our church and small town would attract.  Could he rrelate to our small town youth?  Would he be every students' minister? In what I am sure was a guarded tone, I popped out the question on my mind..."Is this the way you dress all the time?" - or something like that.
It didn't take long for him to have won over not only me, but our whole committee.

We have shared in so many life experiences together.  He was quick to get to know Mickey well and win him over, too.  It would be important for our friendship's sake.  Mickey was not just along for the ride, he too became fast and steady friends with Mark.  We played games together, did ministry together, shared heartaches and joys, and not the least - prayed together.  We bought a chair for Mickey's office/man cave for Mark so that we could retreat into this sanctuary together.

When Mark came to our church, Mickey and I were involved with the College Ministry there.  We had started a Collegiate service on Sunday mornings with the blessing of our former pastor.  As Minister to Students, College Ministry was under his umbrella of responsibilities.  This created an instant bond for us.  It wasn't long until we agreed to help with Youth, as well, in that there was a need.

We were an empty-nesting couple who weren't tied to children, Mickey worked primarily from home, and Mark was a single man with no family obligations in Arkansas.  Our friendship was solidified by Mark endearing himself to not only us, but to our family.  He was the brother, nephew, grandson, son, and uncle that up until that time had been missing in our extended family.  We spent many nights together trading stories, sharing ideas, and playing games.  We were a safe place for him to be open and real.  He was fun and we grew to think of him as family very quickly.

The first year that Mark was our Student Minister, we took our college students on a mission trip to Memphis.  We quickly realized that we had students from our two local colleges and those who were away at college and had come home for the summer.  We also had some college-age people who fit into our ministry well, but who were not actually enrolled in a college at that time.  That week we fed the homeless, worked in a thrift shop, worked at a Children's home and helped organize a library in a low income neighborhood.  We learned so much about each other - the students, Mark and me.  One of those things was that Mark had a phobia of night time intruders and peanut butter!  I think this was when Mark asked me and Mickey to be on his "death alert".  We were to check on him if much time went by and we hadn't heard from him - in case he was dead in his apartment and no one knew it.  Once we thought we were going to have to break in.  We hadn't, and no one else had heard from him in three days.  It was very unusual and we had an understanding that when he would neglect everyone else's phone calls, he would take mine (at least, most of the time).  He knew the rules and so did I.  If it was important, I could call over and over and he would eventually answer.  I called over and over - and he didn't answer.  Finally, he answered and he had indeed been very sick.  I remember being so irritated with him and showed no mercy.  That never happened again.  Well, at least in the exact same way.

The next year we planned a college trip to the border of the US and Mexico.  It was a very long drive and the other adults who were going with us hadn't experienced Mark's leadership style.  His style is clearly - I am the leader and you are the follower without question.  If you understood that, the trips were executed without a hitch.  If you didn't, you would definitely understand it quickly.  In Mark's world, there was only one leader and he was it.  If he gave a mandate, he expected it to be carried out.  He believed this was the best way to keep people safe and have a productive experience with the best results.  He was right.  It may seem that he was a dictator (and that was true) but he led with confidence and authority and he always gave fair warning of his expectations in advance.  Mexico was challenging.  By the end of the trip, we had ministered in situations for which we weren't prepared, had accomplished much and were all bonded pretty tightly.  Once during the trip Mark made a decision to make a change which affected what I was doing. I was not a happy camper so I called him out on it.  Mark and I both tend to run to conflict - or at least don't back down easily.  We were probably speaking in aggressive tones to one another and standing face to face when a student stepped in between.  She placed herself in a peace-maker's role to which both Mark and I responded with laughter.  We weren't making fun of her, we just weren't mad at one another and we both knew it.  Well, maybe I was a little mad at him.  The trip home was long.  We found ourselves driving way into the night with all of the students piled up and sleeping soundly.  We tried to keep a watchman awake with the driver to help the driver stay alert.  Early in the morning I was the watchman and Mark was the driver.  We still laugh about our ridiculous conversation that involved the cones on the highway that morning.  We should be dead, I'm sure.

That was not our only all-nighter.  We pulled many.  Mark would come to our house, we would play several games of Settlers of Catan and then move to the recliners and couch.  Mickey would rare back and close his eyes while Mark and I traded story after story.  Sometimes we would just fix the world.  Mickey was there, but anyone else would have thought he wasn't sharing in the conversation.  He would wake up and join in just as he had never been asleep, knowing everything we had said.  Sometimes 7:00 am would roll around and the three of us would go to breakfast before starting our day. A couple of times those days were Tuesday.  That was a killer for us.  I helped Mark with the youth at Terrific Tuesdays in the summers.  T2 was a children's day out that we offered to the community each summer while Mark was at our church.  It was primarily an opportunity for our youth to serve our church and our community by caring for the children in a fun way and teaching them Bible truths.  I helped by doing one of the tracks.

My own children began to look at Mark as "one of us".  We went to New York City, to Atlanta, and to India together on personal trips.  We shared Thanksgiving a couple of years and Mark even provided a place for my then, future son-in-law to live during his last semester of college.  Mark's last act of ministry in Batesville was to us.  The day before his last Sunday in Batesville, he officiated the wedding of our youngest daughter.

When he left, we were broken hearted and really so alone.  But as a last influential gesture, he recommended our son-in-law as his temporary replacement.  It was precious to see him with his youth dancing at our son-in-law and daughter's wedding with the same ones who would be their youth very soon.  (He did these silly made up dances with them - kind of a joke and they all loved it).  So even in his leaving, he took care of us.  We were able to minister with our own children in the same way we had been ministering with him for a while.

We used to tell him that if he ever left, we were going to go with him.  But of course, that didn't and couldn't happen.  God's timing was good.  We were more free to follow what God had planned for us because he was following what God had planned for him.  We are so grateful to continue our friendship and see it growing even though miles separate us.

Mark has been blessed by a lovely woman in his life.  Had he never moved, he would have never met her and we wouldn't be able to welcome her into our inner circle.  I'm not sure what all the future will hold but I am grateful that Mark, Mickey and I (and now Meredith) have bonded for eternity through our faith in Christ and that He gave us a little peek on earth into the fellowship that will last forever.  Maybe we will play a little Catan following the feast at the Banqueting table, who knows.