This post is really a shout out to my very dear friend, Mark McLendon, whose day of birth is today. It may seem odd that one of my very best friends is a single ?? year old man, but God has blessed us with this unusual friendship. Although we aren't exactly alike, we share so many commonalities that we can't help ourselves - we just have to be friends!
It all began when I sat on a church "search committee" for a youth minister's position. It was a great experience and ultimately, we agreed to extend the offer of a position with our church to Mark. The first day we met, I must admit, he impressed me. He turned on his winning smile and extended his hand, calling each of us by name, though we had only met on the phone. He was wearing a green and white checked Tommy Hilfiger button up and jeans. Immediately I was drawn to that little emblem on his pocket. I knew he was a city boy and that he was pushing the upper limits in age for youth ministry and that he was single. I must admit that I was watching for red flags. I wasn't sure that he understood the demographic of students that our church and small town would attract. Could he rrelate to our small town youth? Would he be every students' minister? In what I am sure was a guarded tone, I popped out the question on my mind..."Is this the way you dress all the time?" - or something like that.
It didn't take long for him to have won over not only me, but our whole committee.
We have shared in so many life experiences together. He was quick to get to know Mickey well and win him over, too. It would be important for our friendship's sake. Mickey was not just along for the ride, he too became fast and steady friends with Mark. We played games together, did ministry together, shared heartaches and joys, and not the least - prayed together. We bought a chair for Mickey's office/man cave for Mark so that we could retreat into this sanctuary together.
When Mark came to our church, Mickey and I were involved with the College Ministry there. We had started a Collegiate service on Sunday mornings with the blessing of our former pastor. As Minister to Students, College Ministry was under his umbrella of responsibilities. This created an instant bond for us. It wasn't long until we agreed to help with Youth, as well, in that there was a need.
We were an empty-nesting couple who weren't tied to children, Mickey worked primarily from home, and Mark was a single man with no family obligations in Arkansas. Our friendship was solidified by Mark endearing himself to not only us, but to our family. He was the brother, nephew, grandson, son, and uncle that up until that time had been missing in our extended family. We spent many nights together trading stories, sharing ideas, and playing games. We were a safe place for him to be open and real. He was fun and we grew to think of him as family very quickly.
The first year that Mark was our Student Minister, we took our college students on a mission trip to Memphis. We quickly realized that we had students from our two local colleges and those who were away at college and had come home for the summer. We also had some college-age people who fit into our ministry well, but who were not actually enrolled in a college at that time. That week we fed the homeless, worked in a thrift shop, worked at a Children's home and helped organize a library in a low income neighborhood. We learned so much about each other - the students, Mark and me. One of those things was that Mark had a phobia of night time intruders and peanut butter! I think this was when Mark asked me and Mickey to be on his "death alert". We were to check on him if much time went by and we hadn't heard from him - in case he was dead in his apartment and no one knew it. Once we thought we were going to have to break in. We hadn't, and no one else had heard from him in three days. It was very unusual and we had an understanding that when he would neglect everyone else's phone calls, he would take mine (at least, most of the time). He knew the rules and so did I. If it was important, I could call over and over and he would eventually answer. I called over and over - and he didn't answer. Finally, he answered and he had indeed been very sick. I remember being so irritated with him and showed no mercy. That never happened again. Well, at least in the exact same way.
The next year we planned a college trip to the border of the US and Mexico. It was a very long drive and the other adults who were going with us hadn't experienced Mark's leadership style. His style is clearly - I am the leader and you are the follower without question. If you understood that, the trips were executed without a hitch. If you didn't, you would definitely understand it quickly. In Mark's world, there was only one leader and he was it. If he gave a mandate, he expected it to be carried out. He believed this was the best way to keep people safe and have a productive experience with the best results. He was right. It may seem that he was a dictator (and that was true) but he led with confidence and authority and he always gave fair warning of his expectations in advance. Mexico was challenging. By the end of the trip, we had ministered in situations for which we weren't prepared, had accomplished much and were all bonded pretty tightly. Once during the trip Mark made a decision to make a change which affected what I was doing. I was not a happy camper so I called him out on it. Mark and I both tend to run to conflict - or at least don't back down easily. We were probably speaking in aggressive tones to one another and standing face to face when a student stepped in between. She placed herself in a peace-maker's role to which both Mark and I responded with laughter. We weren't making fun of her, we just weren't mad at one another and we both knew it. Well, maybe I was a little mad at him. The trip home was long. We found ourselves driving way into the night with all of the students piled up and sleeping soundly. We tried to keep a watchman awake with the driver to help the driver stay alert. Early in the morning I was the watchman and Mark was the driver. We still laugh about our ridiculous conversation that involved the cones on the highway that morning. We should be dead, I'm sure.
That was not our only all-nighter. We pulled many. Mark would come to our house, we would play several games of Settlers of Catan and then move to the recliners and couch. Mickey would rare back and close his eyes while Mark and I traded story after story. Sometimes we would just fix the world. Mickey was there, but anyone else would have thought he wasn't sharing in the conversation. He would wake up and join in just as he had never been asleep, knowing everything we had said. Sometimes 7:00 am would roll around and the three of us would go to breakfast before starting our day. A couple of times those days were Tuesday. That was a killer for us. I helped Mark with the youth at Terrific Tuesdays in the summers. T2 was a children's day out that we offered to the community each summer while Mark was at our church. It was primarily an opportunity for our youth to serve our church and our community by caring for the children in a fun way and teaching them Bible truths. I helped by doing one of the tracks.
My own children began to look at Mark as "one of us". We went to New York City, to Atlanta, and to India together on personal trips. We shared Thanksgiving a couple of years and Mark even provided a place for my then, future son-in-law to live during his last semester of college. Mark's last act of ministry in Batesville was to us. The day before his last Sunday in Batesville, he officiated the wedding of our youngest daughter.
When he left, we were broken hearted and really so alone. But as a last influential gesture, he recommended our son-in-law as his temporary replacement. It was precious to see him with his youth dancing at our son-in-law and daughter's wedding with the same ones who would be their youth very soon. (He did these silly made up dances with them - kind of a joke and they all loved it). So even in his leaving, he took care of us. We were able to minister with our own children in the same way we had been ministering with him for a while.
We used to tell him that if he ever left, we were going to go with him. But of course, that didn't and couldn't happen. God's timing was good. We were more free to follow what God had planned for us because he was following what God had planned for him. We are so grateful to continue our friendship and see it growing even though miles separate us.
Mark has been blessed by a lovely woman in his life. Had he never moved, he would have never met her and we wouldn't be able to welcome her into our inner circle. I'm not sure what all the future will hold but I am grateful that Mark, Mickey and I (and now Meredith) have bonded for eternity through our faith in Christ and that He gave us a little peek on earth into the fellowship that will last forever. Maybe we will play a little Catan following the feast at the Banqueting table, who knows.
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