More of my writings transferred from Facebook
Friday, August 29, 2008 at 2:45am
My friend and boss once told me this...and I know it is true. I've been thinking about doing hard things. The first hard thing I remember doing was moving. I was 17, had a boyfriend and had grown up in the same hometown with the same people, loved my high school, church and friends and was about to enter my Senior year in high school and my parents told me we were moving...to Batesville (a rival town which was too far away!). I literally cried all night! I grieved (and sometimes still do...) for my loses. The next hard thing that I can remember is my Father-in-Law dying when I was 25. I had to tell Mickey that he had to quickly go to his mother's house...she thought his dad was dead...and he had to go alone because Kelly was small and I had to stay with her. It was hard when I had to move to Oklahoma when I was 33 with my mom telling me that she would NEVER come to see me because she was so hurt (she did though). AND living there was numbing...too much sky! I had a giant hole in my heart...aching for Arkansas and home. Mickey's business failed...we had no money and no job and were facing our children needing braces, driving cars, their Senior years and college. It was the hardest time of our married lives...but He was there and we wouldn't trade what we learned of Him through it all. Physical Therapy...boring, tiring, burned out...when I had frozen shoulders and had to go three times a week for 6 months...it was hard (it was successful and I can put on a coat now because of it). Watching Lacey walk down to the gate to get on a plane that would take her away for 2 long years to a third world country, in many ways, with no one that I knew and I couldn't get to her if I needed to was very hard...I decided to allow myself to cry about it every day (not for long, but unashamedly...and I did). The first time I had to shoot my self in the belly with an insulin shot (in fact, I didn't...Lacey did it for me!)...it was hard, but really nothing to it now. Recently, I had to share bad news with my precious son-in-law...that his dad was seriously ill...perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done. Maybe "hard" is relevant to the moment. All I know is my God is a great sustainer and even though he asks us to do hard things sometimes, He is always there. Sometimes all we can do is just sit in His lap and watch while he takes care of things...a safe place to be.
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